Thursday, September 15, 2016

let's talk about dancing

we all like to dance, right? if you're saying no to that question, you might wanna just move on from this post OR you could get your bootay off that dango couch and turn on some trap music and bust out some moves. it will make you feel better and will burn off that whole bag of potato chips you had with your lunch. the other day, i was cleaning out my closet to make room for my fiance future husband and i came across several mixtapes. well duh, i immediately dropped what i was doing to see if i had any good jams on these tapes and the first song to bust through my speakers was very unexpected. when i make mixtapes they are usually full of hip hop music from artists who make me want to nod my head and shake my bum bum
like these guys. but the first song to come on was this song. so random and i don't totally just love this song but damn did i get in. to. it. i was dancing around my bedroom like a tweenager who just bought the next NOW cd. and the mix just got better and better. i listened to that crazy mixtape the entire time i cleaned cleared my closet out. i don't think i would have been able to get as much cleared out and other stuff moved around without fun-shake-ya-bum-bum music blaring throughout my house and throughout my body. it totally makes sense that ellen starts her shows off with dancing. maybe i should start my mornings off with a good dance routine; instead of a movie that i get hooked into watching and end up wasting all my time to get cute and ready for work. 
do you enjoy a good dance sesh with yourself? 
b and i are having dancing at our wedding reception in november and so yea i gotta brush up on my dancing skills so i can get all my guests crunk and dancing so i'm not the lone loser showing off all my best moves while everyone is chowing down on ribs in the background. to tell you the truth, i have never even seen b dance before. i mean surely he can slow dance but seeing him freestyle will be new for me. i tried to get him to dance around my room with me on saturday but he just wasn't having it. apparently, baiting squirrels with peanuts was more fun to him then dancing around my room to songs he's never heard of. he WILL dance at our reception though. i don't care if we have to get up and have an early morning dance sesh every morning on our honeymoon in order to get him prepared for that dance floor. he will dance. 

speaking of dancing....dancing with the stars started it's 23rd season this monday and you already know that my momma and i had front row seats were in our comfy clothes watching the first episode premiere on monday night. tbh i'm not at all impressed with the 'stars' this year. half of them i had to do some research to even figure out why they are considered a "star." and yea, still not impressed. let's check this line up out.
maks and amber rose...if you don't know who amber rose is then good for you. she is pretty much irrelevant. she says she's a model and actress but i can't recall anything she's been in. probably just a bunch of spoof movies. and as far as 'modeling' goes, if you count stripping and video vixening as modeling then yes, i guess she is a 'model.' heck, the first thing she said to maks was that she does have experience dancing but i'm pretty sure maks was throwing up a little bit in his mouth when she confessed that her dance experience was of the exotic variety. 
isn't this supposed to be a family show?

lindsay and calvin johnson jr...okay so amber rose i had actually heard of her before, but this guy...i had no clue. so after reading about him i quickly figured out why i hadn't heard of him. he's a football 'star.' um, boring. and he is like extremely tall and well, lindsay is not tall. there is such a thing as being too tall and this guy is the prime example. they look completely awk together. he kept bending his knees because um duh he's like a giant. i think he should may want to just stick with football.

jenna and jake t. austin...not only did i not know who the 'star' was, but i didn't know the pro either. jenna has been on the troop the last few years and i guess they decided to give her a shot at being a pro. wise decision? not really. honestly their first dance looked like something they would perform at a middle school talent show. i was not impressed with jenna. and jake is basically just a child star who disney kicked to the curb when his voice changed. BUT they are a likeable team/couple. the words jake and jenna just flow off the tongue so naturally but jenna needs to step her game up. i couldn't really tell who was the pro especially since it seemed [to me] that she was trying to steal the limelight. 

sharna and james hinchcliffe...another 'star' i was not at all familiar with but he is a racecar driver and even though i do watch more nascar than any other sport i still didn't recognize the name. mainly because when/if i am watching nascar it's just to see the crazy wrecks or because my man wants me to watch with him while i scroll through instagram. but i immediately liked this guy after watching his introductory clip. he's funny and not bad looking either. [shh don't tell barry] and believe it or not he CAN break out some moves. i think they did good pairing these two goofballs up. if i was one of the few folks who actually votes for the pairs at the end of the show i would most definitely vote for this couple. he'll probably be a fan favorite. heck, he's got my attention.

gleb and jana kramer...first of all this is the best photo i could find of them. and it's clearly a photo someone took on their iphone backstage. all the others 'stars' got professional photos with their pro dancer but i guess abc figured gleb and jana wouldn't last very long so they didn't wanna waste their time with professh pics. even though their dance was really good. the judges didn't think so but considering it was her first week i think she nailed it. now if only the judges would quit judging the star for dancing the incorrect dance style...they didn't come up with the dance, their pro did. also, who in the cluck is gleb? and what kinda clucked up name is that? it sounds like his mother named him the first thing that popped outta her mouth after having major dental work.

allison and kenny "babyface" edmonds...ok first of all this photo of allison does not even look like her. amiright? i cannot believe this chick has had 2 children. she looks great! anyways, okay this babyface guy i had never heard of but i guess that's because i'm in my twenties and not my fifties. marcia brady [who is also on the show] was fangirling about getting to meet this babyface dude. and my momma was pretty excited that he is going to be on the show. so i will say that so far, this is the only REAL star i've talked about being on the show. also, babyface is pretty good. do i think he will go far in the competition? i'm not real sure but i can definitely see him improving.
are you familiar with kenny babyface edmonds?


val chmerkovskiy and laurie hernandez...well i think we all know who is going to win season 23. this couple right here. they rocked their first dance. i mean she is an olympic gymnast. tbh i don't count her as a 'star.' she is an olympian. shit, i'd rather be able to claim that i'm an olympian instead of a "star-celebrity," but that's just me. but i will say, i like this girl. waaaaay more than i liked val's last partner. yea i wasn't a fan of whats-her-face at all and was so happy when they didn't win. also laurie has such a funny-crazy personality that she will definitely go far in the competition not just based on the fact that their girl absolutely can shake her tailfeather.

derek hough and marilu henner...finally. not only have i heard of this lady; she is actually a real star. now, i think derek has in his contract that he gets to pick his own "star" and that "star" is always the best one of the bunch. which had me thinking, well maybe ms. marilu can dance. well, ehhh...don't get me wrong, she wasn't horrible like this lady was but she's definitely not the best. sorry, derek, val beat you to the punch. but i can see marilu improving over the weeks, but can i see her winning? not a chance. you can't take em all, derek.

artem and maureen mccormick...aka marcia brady dancing with abc's fiiiinest pro. here is another actual star on the show. i mean we all know who marcia is and the famous marcia marcia marcia quote that will be stuck in our heads and hearts forever. i'm sure we are bound to hear that quote at some point during the show and tbh i really hope we do. also i am so glad artem got a good fun person like maureen instead of that bitch, he was very unfortunately stuck with last season. however, maureen isn't very good but hopefully folks will vote to keep marcia around longer than marissa cooper.

emma slater and rick perry...poor emma, not only does she not get an actual 'star' but is stuck with a politician. and a horribly-dancing politician at that. how boring. and on her part, frustrating. emma is a fan favorite and this is the 'star' abc decides to give her. sheesh i guess if you take a season off like her and derek did then you get stuck with the crappers. i can pretty much tell that this goofball of an ex-governor [seriously who voted for this goof?] will more than likely be the first to go. a politician is pretty much the worst type of person to put on this show. abc, i'm disappointed in you.

cheryl burke and ryan lochte...once again..not a star. they need to change the name from dancing with the stars to dancing with the people you may or may not know. now obvi that doesn't flow off the tongue as well, but come on, abc you seriously couldn't come up with some actual stars this season so y'all were literally grasping at straws and this guy is who you pick? bottom of the barrel, wouldn't you think. now tbh i had no clue who this guy was or what he had done wrong. i'm sure we all have a few moments when we've been drunk that we are not all too proud of. but let me just say this, if you are an olympian...your a FREAKIN' OLYMPIAN! and you should act like one. it is an honor that should be held with honor until the games are over and then you can go back to acting like a fool on your own time...not america's time. your own. anyways, i don't think this guy will last very long, after rick perry is booted off first it will only be a matter of time, ryan.

sasha and terra jole...very first little person to be on the show and yes, this little person is actually a star and got put with one of my favorite pros. i love when sasha gets to join the pros and isn't wasting his talent with the troop dances that we fast forward through. it will be very interested to see what sasha comes up with for him and terra to be able to pull off. also her booty and boobies are just so big, hope that doesn't throw of her balance because it damn sure would for me. this should be a fun and interesting duo to watch.

also sidenote: how cute are sasha and emma together?!
they kissed on the show right after sasha and terra performed. it was so cute that we even hit rewind to watch the cuteness again. i love this couple.

witney and vanilla ice...i pretty much knew as soon as i heard that vanilla ice was going to be on the show that he would be paired up with witney. she is just known for her hip-hop moves and well vanilla ice is known for the well known, over played hip-hop song ice, ice, baby. even though witney wasn't even born yet when the song hit the charts. so yes, here is another actual star on the show. now if witney could just choreograph a dance that is the actual dance style the judges want. that's her fault every single time she does it. and yes, y'all know she does it a lot. their first dance was supposed to be the cha-cha but in pure witney fashion she decided to do her own thang. typical. hopefully she'll actually pay attention to the judges critiques this season and dance the styles she's told to dance. either way though, i'm interested to see what other dance moves this couple has up their sleeves.

so do you watch dancing with the stars? what do you think of this year's line up?
none of the seasons have even compared with season 19, amiright? seriously that was the season to watch. it was full of good [actual] stars and i got really into the pros that season. which is probably why i follow more dancing with the stars pros than i do other 'real' celebrities.
who's your favorite pro? i literally couldn't answer that question if you bribed me with cheeseburger. ha who am i kidding..i'd basically answer any type of question for a good tasty burger.
well, i hope i'm back again soon.
"i use adobe premiere. i like to do a little weekend editing. i recently just cut three minutes out of goodfellas. that's a frontline narration app. it's only 99 cents."
[the other guys]

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