hello there. so i have been thinking about my 30 before 30 list and there's some things on there that i have decided i don't really want anymore. someone told me recently that i focus too much on my job and not enough on my life. yes, my job is part of my life, but it's not all of it. this year has been one of the hardest years for me. i thought last year was bad, but this year has just sucked. don't get me wrong there's been good parts but mostly i've just been unhappy. the same person told me that my job puts a lot of stress on me. i'm really awful at just wanting to do everything myself. i'm also a perfectionist and a little ocd when it comes to organization. unfortunately, a lot of people i work with aren't at all organized like i would like for them to be. so what i'm trying to say is i think my job is stressing me out soooo much that it's just making me plain unhappy. and that makes me sad, and upset cause i used to look forward to coming to work everyday. but now? it's hard [almost impossible] to get up and come to work everyday. on friday, i count down the hours to getting off work and being away from it for two full days. and sunday night, i dread having to come back in on monday.
it's not stressful everyday. [thank goodness] but it does stress me out and make me more upset than i would like for it to. i asked the person who pointed out this problem, for some advice and she said i need to step back and examine what i really want in my life. that i need to remember that i don't have to do everything everyone is wanting me to do. it's my choice. now i just gotta figure out what i want. i'm like the most indecisive person you will ever meet. i'm always on the fence about everything in my life because i don't want to disappoint anyone including myself.
there is one thing i know i want: a non-stressful job.
is that even possible?
stress makes me crazy. gives me mental/physical issues that i don't think i should be dealing with everyday for the rest of my life. sometimes, i think of myself as a ticking time bomb. just one more thing, even small, that could push me over the edge is going to set this bomb off and that's it! it's over people. make room at the looney bin cause that's exactly where i'll end up. [kidding.
i have to cut this cord somewhere. not saying i am going to start just giving a flying eff about my job, cause i just can't do that. but i am going to start saying no to some things. and i'm officially stopping on thinking about job, job, job all the time and am going to focus on other things that truly make me utterly happy and not stressed to the max!
like: my 30 before 30 list.
there were several things on my list that were job related so i have decided to delete them and replace them with something that would be fun. something that i would be tickled to accomplish. most of them are projects i want to do on my house, but there a couple of things i've never done before that i have always wanted to do, too. i am going though the whole list again to refresh your memory and the new ones will be added in. i'm also going to give you some updates on where i'm at with some of these. see if you can spot the newly added one.
i had a good chunk of change saved up for this, but i've had to use a good bit of it this year to pay for some pricier things. *rolls eyes*
this, like the el camino, is one of the things i want more than anything.
gotta find someone with a shotgun to accomplish this one.
maybe i can talk some friends into going with me this year.
i think this one will be a christmas present to myself.
i don't know why, but i have just always wanted to experience this.
i desperately need a rug for my bedroom and my hitchcock room.
ACCOMPLISHED! it certainly wasn't the most successful party, but i threw one none the less. i would like to maybe host a movie party sometime..if i have the guts to be disappointed with the number of people who actually decide to show up.
i'll probably be too broke to ever accomplish this one.
i have watched 30 so far.
yes, this is work related, but i still wanna try to do it sometime.
there. my REVISED 30 before 30 list. hopefully none of these will change, unless i accomplish them that is. i just hate that so many of them cost money. ugh this one income thing is getting old. but the last thing i need is a second job...unless it was, of course, having my own flea market booth or i don't know being a millionaire's wife. yea that one sounds like the best job ever! oh wishful thinking.