Monday, May 16, 2011

bo$$ypants

Wow.

Did last week happen?

It's a blacked out blur, but I'm pretty sure it ruled.

Warmer weather makes life better!!

My life has consisted of:::
*hair feathers
*something borrowed
*amy's show
*mother's day
*sandwiches
*birthday cake
*lots of awkward moments
*bunko & dank pizza
*sunburns
*new weight
*Pop Music
*Fresh Cup
*Bossypants

*Gameday
*That 70s Show
*Brokeness..my life story
*An Insurance Check
*Jeep plans
*Crazy clubbers
*arguments
*and cool kids that can't get over themselves

Yes, I've been busy. Man, I guess time really does fly when you're having fun.

First things first, let's talk about clubs. Well I went to two on Saturday. Yes, two different ones in the same 24 hours.
What can I say, I like to dance! Not like "bumping & grinding like a slow jam" but just doing my own thing out on the dance floor.

I like to dance up at the front by the dj booth. Usually there are about 3 or 4 guys that are dancing by themselves, ya know those ones that are doing crazy hand movements and twisting their feet like Usher. Then there is always at least one guy standing in front of the dj looking out into the crowd and singing with the songs, like it's karaoke night.. Yea those are the folks to be dancing around. They're so caught up in doing their own thing they don't even notice you until their pinky ring is caught in your hair.

I hate when girls complain about that creepy dude trying to dance in their personal space on the dance floor.
So, here's some tips to prevent this:

1. Don't wear your little sister's dress. your pillow case, or try and pull that hand towel off as a top.

2. It might be best to not wear a dress..at all.

3. Dance with the weirdos. They don't care as long as you stay out of their way.

4. Don't put your hands on your knees. nope, you're at a club not a softball game.

5. Dance by the bar. dj booth, or bathroom. They are all easy escape routes.

6. If a guy does ask you to dance, always say no. Even if he is cute. Come on, you're in a bar, he doesn't want to talk Julia Roberts' flicks with you.

7. You can always give a fake number. What if he tries to call it? Say "oops I left mine in the car, just text me." Works every time!

8. Dance with you BGF's. It is always way more fun and they won't be afraid to ditch your butt if you're dancing with that creep-o with the neck tattoo.

9. "I have a boyfriend." is another escape route. and if you're indeed dancing in the designated safe spots than you can easily point at the biggest guy and frantically say, "My boyfriend will kill me if he sees us dancing."

10. Run. If none of these work don't be afraid to rush through the sea of people and stand next to the big black man marked security.

And lets just remember ladies, a real man watches you from the sidelines because he's too cool to dance at clubs but cool enough to go ball room dancing with you on a Tuesday night.

More updates on actual imporant life events coming soon!

"Damn, look at all these kids! People probably think we're mormons"
[that 70s show]

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